My objective?

My objective, my energy is all messed up. My mind and emotions short circuit in an electrical storm when I try to pin it down. It feels so weird.

$10,000

Sweatshirt

If you had to wear a sweat shirt with one word that was your objective for the day and everyone could see it what would it say? Or more importantly since it could only have one word what would it NOT say?

Are you that focused, committed?

Would you feel comfortable being committed to that one thing? And that was all anyone knew about you or your energy?

That is the focus of the objective.

Do you know your objective? Do other people know it? Do you results align with it?

Weird

I go into this weird state where I have energy, time to do stuff but I get all pissy and anxious and end up just stewing. Sometimes I don’t have any energy and other times I can’t properly direct it. How do I get it flowing and growing?

Dominant energy

I was watching a show this morning with my daughter. The main character auditioned to sing the opening number for a television talent show. The whole episode was the adventures she had during the process.

But the character I noticed most was the impresario who was running the show.

He was surrounded by assistants that helped him pull the levers and move the production forward. He had the objective focused energy.

I probably wasn’t supposed to notice him but that is where my head is at now. I thought about the energy it took to decide he wanted to have a show, hire people to realize his vision and hold auditions for singers.

I am realizing more and more I have dueling energies. The one who wants to create worlds and interact with people. And one who wants to burrow down and passively observe the world or just partake in distractions.

For all of my life the observer has been my dominate energy. Even now on a Friday morning I feel the pull of skating at work and relishing the energy of a weekend close at hand.

As I wrote earlier I believe this has to be the way I connect and build a world. It is what I go to in my dominate energy and I do regularly and it is something I can share with others.

Do not be ruled by toys

Staying focused on the objective is a second to second thing. Your mind will wander at any moment and re-prioritize your energy. Oftentimes that re-prioritization feels justified. At work you seek fair treatment. You look for commiseration from peers or validation from bosses. You seek respect, benefit of the doubt, accolades, recognition, awards or prizes. All of those things feel valuable. But they distract from achieving your objective. Do not pull up short of your objective. Do not be ruled by toys.

Re Firing Energy

Giving up, giving in, accepting an outcome other than my objective is infuriatingly seductive.

The slightest tinge of resistance sends me into deep stagnation.

I fritter the day away with pity filled vignettes where I cast myself a wronged but valiant warrior.

Logically I can see the futility of this behavior but the emotions are unbelievably powerful.

The only way to save myself in that instance is to forcibly will myself to do at least one tiny minuscule simple task toward my objective in hopes of re firing my energy in the proper direction.

The battle to do even that is monumental and exhausting. I am ashamed to admit oftentimes I fail.