Trying to have it all

5:57am the first time I felt panic was in 2006. I overextended myself at work and started my MBA. I had too much going on. I tried to find peace by resolving every issue that caused stress. I failed. There was always something to solve. I couldn’t relax. I feel the same now. I keep try to find a way to make everything alright. There is never going to be that moment. This is as close as I will get. Today I will not try and solve everything. I will just be present.

Justified

5:46am A lot of energy goes into lamenting who I am not. I mourn the person I failed to become. I wonder about the paths I did not travel. I feel I have to prove I made right choices. That arriving here and now was the best outcome. I spend a lot of time in these posts trying to improve. Change my attitude, my approach. I believe if I achieve quantifiable results in tenure, money, census I will justified