The worst

March 12, 2025, Wednesday night, 7:01pm,pacific standard time, parking lot of school of rock, San Juan Capistrano,California,USA. I knew going into this job the branch was in a tough spot. They had a tri-annual survey with serious issues in key areas, staff turnover was high and quality scores were low. What I didn’t know is the branch is the lowest performing one financially in the entire company. This morning the senior Vice President sent out an email regarding repayment penalties and Orange County was by far the worst. Later today he sent notice he is coming to town next week. Then the division President got on our afternoon marketing call to hear what we are working on. Right now we are ground zero for executive leadership oversight. The spotlight is white hot. I guess I wanted an opportunity to prove my worth. Here it is.

Too small blanket

5:14am, in my apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Wednesday morning, December 15, 2021. A while ago I heard a financial planner share insight about his profession. He said the practice of allocating money is like, “a too small blanket on a cold night.” Every scenario can’t be addressed, something will always remain exposed. The lease on my apartment is up for renewal. If I stay in Arizona the relationship with my daughter will suffer. If I go back to Orange County I have no housing or job stability. Either way, I will give up or miss out on something. My blanket is too small.

Still play?

8:49am in my office. The referral from last night fell through. I am jaded. I knew something would go wrong. The patient had been put on palliative care with another hospice and the family chose to go with them. We went from an immediate need imminently dying patient to the admission being put off. Now it is gone altogether. Frustrating. Another set back in an already rough month. The question I have been pondering all morning is how long to still play the game? I think about the scenario of being a chaplain and my wife cutting hair. Find a small town, build a quiet life. Live simple. Her work is just as stressful. She does marketing for a pest control company. We both are beholden to numbers and financial results. Should we stop playing the game or keep going?