6:21am in the apartment. Everyone is still asleep. I wish I was still asleep. I need more rest. I have been tired lately. Not sure what is causing it. Stress? Getting up too early? Distraction? I woke up an hour later than usual and still feel tired. I would have slept longer but the dog needed to go out. I took her for a walk, came home, made coffee, sat down and turned on the weather. Now I have time to gather my thoughts and write some things down. I am still examining what I consider my work/purpose. I am almost 50. As I approach middle age I know a job doesn’t define me. I am my own person. I set my own course. Like doing these posts. Writing down my thoughts. But these posts don’t fill my day. They don’t give me a battle, a game to win. I need an antagonist. Something to fight against and test my resolve. This job provides that. I wish it were going better. Being in business and not being successful sucks. I didn’t know what I was getting into when I took this job six months ago. I knew it was bad but it is even worse than I realized. This site is a mess. Our key referral source just sold us. No one wants to work. And half the people that show up don’t have the proper skill set. Some days I don’t know where to begin. everything I do to fix one problem uncovers more problems. Everyday is one step forward two steps back. No wonder I am exhausted. Tuesdays are the day I have one-on-one time with my supervisor. We have an hour phone call to go over key metrics. It isn’t too bad. My supervisor is nice. But she is frustrated like I am. We both want to be successful. We both want results. But we are struggling. I am not alone. other sites are struggling as well. I do not envy her job. We are part of a new company. We are under pressure to deliver. It is time to find our groove and get moving in the right direction. My call ends at noon. I will check in then and update how it goes.