6:46am that the illusion was shattered. I could find happiness for a moment but perpetual bliss did not exist. Happiness existed in the ephemera. A time making love, a fleeting memory. lunch with a friend. Those were times I could feel alive. At peace and hopeful. But they were mere grains of precious metal in a bin of the messy dirt of everyday life. The meetings, trudging to work, forms and fights that overwhelm existence. All we ever have are the moments.