Tag: monday

Sunday morning

9:04am, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, Sunday morning, December 05, 2021. Sundays holds great promise but never delivers. This morning my mind is filled with infinite possibilities; I can go anywhere, do anything, be anyone I want to be. Yet before long hours will pass, afternoon will approach and I will become resigned to waking up Monday in the same life as before.

Monday

3:42pm, in my office, Arizona, Monday afternoon. The sky is a little overcast and the weather is cool for Phoenix (upper 70’s) We made it to the casino last night but didn’t win anything. We still had a good time. I got to the office early today. Traffic was light and work has been slow. It is still just me and one assistant in the office today however she noticed a flat on her car so she left to get it serviced. So far I have successfully fielded phone calls and inquiries.

Monday morning, Labor Day

8:27am Monday morning, Labor Day, Dana Point. The path was familiar. I had walked it with my mom everyday the four months she lived with me. I appreciated that time. Though I was frustrated with work I had mornings free to walk along the bluff. We head north, then east until we got to the park. Then we circled back to the apartment. The whole trip last half an hour. I would have coffee then get ready for work.

Monday

7:59pm Monday night. After finishing dinner I cleaned the dishes and scrubbed the kitchen. I called my daughter to find out how school went. “Hi dad, bye dad.” Were her only words. My wife complained about money. We discussed plans for the weekend. I hung up then washed my face and brushed my teeth before crawling into bed. I read an interesting article on blues music. Then turned out the light to fall asleep.

Monday morning

5:42am Monday morning. When I woke up I felt refreshed. My rest had been good. Then I remembered it was Monday and felt dejected. I rolled over, turned on the light and laid still on my back for a moment. I didn’t feel the desire to get up. I thought about Saturday mornings, long car trips and peaceful walks. Anything to distract me from the looming day. For as long as I could remember I thought it my mission to avoid mornings like these. But I have come to realize all I can really hope is to endure.

Monday morning

5:42am you went for a walk this morning. A little bit later than usual. You got a phone call on your work phone at 2:19am. It was the triage nurse. She went to see a patient who was complaining of discomfort. The nurse could not get a hold of the on call doctor to obtain orders for stronger pain medication. She had tried two other doctors. No one had called her back. It had only been twenty minutes. She wanted to leave the community. She explained there was not much she could do without a doctors order. I told her that was fine and to please explain the situation to the staff and to assure them a nurse would follow up later in the morning. I doubt she told them. She is not a very good nurse. She only does the bare minimum and complains the whole time. The doctor is a good doctor but only takes call to make the monthly paycheck. He has too many other interests to effectively take call. This whole site is filled with people just doing the bare minimum, getting by, here for the money. I am ashamed I am the director. Not because I created the situation but because I have failed to change it.

High Steppin’

5:31am (Trying the letter to future self theme) What should I tell you? Yesterday you went to work. The employee you spoke with on Monday about job performance came in and resigned. That was alright. You were going to put her on a performance improvement plan. Her choosing to leave relieved stress. The day turned positive. In the afternoon you drove to Anthem. Anthem is way north of Phoenix. You went out there to get some forms signed for the LA office. The person that needed to sign the forms was not available. You met one of the chaplains up there and gave them to him to have signed. Since yesterday morning you have felt renewed. Which is nice. Wednesday was an awful day. On Wednesday you wanted more than anything to quit, find a job as a chaplain and never look back. You blew off calls with the clinical leadership of the senior living communities. You came home and took an hour and half lunch. You spent most of the day in your office with the door shut. But yesterday was different. Now you can see a path to turning the site around and making it profitable. That is a goal you want to achieve. Last night You drank two beers before dinner. It was gross. You didn’t enjoy them. They made you feel sick. And you didn’t sleep well. Beers on Thursday nights used to be the best. You woke up this morning at 3:47am. You went for a walk and worked out. You thought about work and for the most part you were happy on the walk. It is easier to be happy on Friday. It was the first walk you did both extra loops to increase distance. Your core muscles feel stronger when you walk more. On the walk you started thinking about the WIL but you made yourself stop. You were feeling hurt and cycling about being dumped by her back in 2017. Yesterday you started applying the “one day at a time” mindset to work days. You realized you need to focus on the moment. Not try to reconcile the past. Not plan the future. Writing that sentence made you think of an Avett Brothers song. “See, you can only live one day at a time, only drive one hot rod at a time, only say one word at a time, and only think one thought at a time.” The Avett Brothers, High Steppin’.

The Avett Brothers, High Steppin’

Monday morning

5:49am in the apartment, on the couch. Sipping coffee and watching the weather. The temperature is supposed to be high this week. I like the cooler air. I would rather wear a jacket. I live in the wrong place. I am thinking about change. Do I want to change work? One factor to consider is pay. The job in Denver says the rate they are starting at is 10% higher than my salary now. a higher pay check would alleviate pressure. I ran through a lot of retirement and savings in Orange County. I incurred debt. While I have made more money since switching to operations I am getting by, not getting ahead. A raise in pay could change my circumstances.

Close out

7:44pm Monday evening. Lying in bed. I got home from work about a quarter to six. Changed clothes, took out my contacts, fed my fish then ate dinner. I watched the weather, some sports, comedy and a travel show. Called my mom. I tried to call my daughter but her phone went straight to voicemail. She seldom has her phone charged and keeps her ringer off. I tried calling my wife but she didn’t answer either. I will try again in the morning. I have better luck getting a hold of them then.