Mother’s Day 2022

7:35am, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Sunday morning, May 8, 2022. Thinking about driving south today. My mom mentioned she wanted to visit Tucson. That wouldn’t be a bad way to celebrate Mother’s Day. Go for a drive, get something to eat, come home and take a nap. I ordered her a new electronic tablet as a Mother’s Day gift. It should come early next week. She will enjoy that more than anything else I could get her. It will be from the whole family because it is a little more expensive.

My daughters mother

7:28am, PST, apartment in Dana Point, CA. Saturday day morning, January 22, 2022. A year ago the woman I married stopped referring to me as her husband. She began introducing me as our daughters dad. I didn’t think much of it and still reflexively called her my wife. However this past week we had a discussion about future plans. She made it clear we will never be together in that capacity ever again. I am not shocked or offended, we have been strictly platonic for well over a decade and I have no desire to revisit that status. But I did make the decision to follow suit. We are legally married but we aren’t husband and wife any more. She is now my friend and simply the woman I know as my daughters mother.

Someplace else

1:55pm, in my office, Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday afternoon, December 15, 2021. It is natural, when things slow down, to think about being someplace else. After all, life is more enjoyable in reflection, when current circumstances cease to demand attention. This afternoon I left my office, drove to a nearby park and sat in my car. As the bright sun warmed me, my mind wandered to last year. I recalled being in Dana Point, sitting on my couch, experiencing a similar moment. It was not a perfect time. The ongoing pandemic resurged and large group restrictions were in place. My wife and daughter had moved out and my mother, recuperating from a nasty fall, had moved in. I was settling into a new job that, unbeknown to me, was going to end in three weeks. It was not a time l felt particularly content, yet sitting in my car, remembering it, all I felt was peace. Now I am looking at decisions I will make for the coming year; Will I stay in Arizona? Or maybe move back to Orange County? Perhaps even end up somewhere I have yet to discover? Many times in life I find myself missing what was left in the past and that makes me realize something; come next year, when I have a moment to reflect, I very well could be enjoying the sunshine of a similar afternoon, in a new someplace else, missing the very place I am now.

Wednesday

5:29am Wednesday. When I started my walk I noticed the faint odor of a skunk coming from the East. It had been there every morning this week. I assumed the animal must be hurt or dead. That got me thinking about life. My dad has been gone fifteen years. Did he live the life he wanted? Did it matter? My brother died five years ago. My mom still has his stuff. Lately she has asked me if I want it. When is a mother ready to let go of her son? When is a son able to let go of his father?