Tag: Orange County

Christmas Eve Night 2021

8:22pm, living room, Dana Point, CA, Friday night, December 24, 2021, Christmas Eve. Made it to Orange County around noon, dropped mom off at the hotel, took a quick nap and played video games with my daughter. Around 4pm we took the dog with us to Lake Forest to get mom for dinner and present opening. Then, one more trip to the hotel to drop mom off for the evening. Now we are sitting on the couch watching videos and talking.

Holiday Plans Update

1:57pm, in my office, Phoenix, Arizona, Tuesday afternoon, December 21, 2021, listening to Christmas music. This morning my mom flew into Phoenix from Salt Lake City. I picked her up at the airport and took her grocery shopping before coming to the office. She will be here until next Tuesday. We will go to Orange County on Friday and come back on Sunday. My wife and daughter are coming to Phoenix on Sunday as well so I am excited. We have a lot of activities planned and my daughter has a new video game she wants help with. It will be a good end to 2021.

Someplace else

1:55pm, in my office, Phoenix, Arizona, Wednesday afternoon, December 15, 2021. It is natural, when things slow down, to think about being someplace else. After all, life is more enjoyable in reflection, when current circumstances cease to demand attention. This afternoon I left my office, drove to a nearby park and sat in my car. As the bright sun warmed me, my mind wandered to last year. I recalled being in Dana Point, sitting on my couch, experiencing a similar moment. It was not a perfect time. The ongoing pandemic resurged and large group restrictions were in place. My wife and daughter had moved out and my mother, recuperating from a nasty fall, had moved in. I was settling into a new job that, unbeknown to me, was going to end in three weeks. It was not a time l felt particularly content, yet sitting in my car, remembering it, all I felt was peace. Now I am looking at decisions I will make for the coming year; Will I stay in Arizona? Or maybe move back to Orange County? Perhaps even end up somewhere I have yet to discover? Many times in life I find myself missing what was left in the past and that makes me realize something; come next year, when I have a moment to reflect, I very well could be enjoying the sunshine of a similar afternoon, in a new someplace else, missing the very place I am now.

Too small blanket

5:14am, in my apartment, Chandler, Arizona, Wednesday morning, December 15, 2021. A while ago I heard a financial planner share insight about his profession. He said the practice of allocating money is like, “a too small blanket on a cold night.” Every scenario can’t be addressed, something will always remain exposed. The lease on my apartment is up for renewal. If I stay in Arizona the relationship with my daughter will suffer. If I go back to Orange County I have no housing or job stability. Either way, I will give up or miss out on something. My blanket is too small.

The women I love and the places they live

4:57am, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, Thursday morning, December 09, 2021. Would the WIL hold as much power over me if she moved from Utah? Would I still think about her constantly and miss her terribly if she packed up her stuff and moved to, say, Ohio, or some other random place? Part of the reason I am so lovestruck by The WIL is she embodies the time and place in my life I hold so dear; namely, Utah in the mid-2000’s. During that time and in that area I was at my best. I worked for a good company, I loved my job and was confident in my abilities. My time was spent helping people with death and dying, surrounded by the natural beauty of the mountains and enjoying the glorious changing of seasons. All the while I obsessively and intensely loved the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. Time is frozen when I think about the WIL and Utah. There, it is always spring and she is forever young. But if she were to leave would the spell be broken? Would she lose the forever magic in my heart? Going someplace different would remove her from cherished memories. Time would cease to stand still and she would no longer have eternal youth. She would be like me; someone who has aged, a person that struggles with work and parenting, all while feeling life is slipping slowly into irrelevance. Utah is special because she is there. And subsequently, she is ethereal because she lives in Utah. It is a similar situation with my daughter and Orange County, but with a slight variation. Orange County is not so perfect as much as my daughter makes it so. I lived in Orange County for nine years. Personally and professionally it was awful. I could not keep steady employment, I was depressed (mostly from missing the WIL) and I could never get ahead financially. Yet, I still go back and I still enjoy the area because my daughter is there. But if my wife left Orange County (which for many reasons I think she should) I would not be sad. I would welcome the opportunity to start a new life and be close to my daughter. I guess, in the end, I love two places and two women for two different reasons. One because of what it once was and the other because of what it is right now. That being said, who knows, someday, under the right circumstances, I will be writing about how amazing a random place like Ohio is if a certain woman or two lived there.

The WIL and December 1st

5:43am, Wednesday morning, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, December 1. Seven years ago I was traveling for work to the Chicago area. Thanksgiving was late that year so December 1st was the Monday after the holiday. My itinerary was to fly from Orange County to Salt Lake City and connect to Chicago, however the flight was delayed. Then it was delayed again. Before long I missed my connection to Chicago all together. The airline counter agent recommended I fly to Salt Lake City. They would pay for a hotel and book me on another flight the next morning. Doing that would minimize the odds of not making it to my destination the next day as well. While some of my fellow travelers were probably annoyed, I was ecstatic. I had been texting with the WIL the entire morning, lamenting I would be in Utah but wouldn’t get to see her. Now I was staying in a hotel the airline was paying for. She came and saw me after work that day and we got to spend a couple hours together. The memory is so strong and so meaningful for many reasons, some I will keep to myself. But it is easy to say that day stands as one of the most beautiful moments we shared in a lifetime full of them.

Leaving

9am, in Dana Point, Sunday morning. My mom and I are heading back to Arizona. It was a good weekend but a little frantic. Having my mom stay so far north created some logistics issues but nothing unmanageable. I have been thinking about the WIL a lot this trip. Of course, I am always thinking about the WIL. Some days I stuff my feelings and think I can move on. Other times I realize I can never move on.

Back to shopping

3:59pm Irvine California, shopping center, Saturday afternoon. We are back at the same shopping center as before. The girls had credits left over from the virtual reality arcade and we had to buy a birthday present. They are also shopping for cheap accessories like necklaces and rings. I ended up having to order a hoodie online for the birthday present. We need to pick it up at a store closer to Dana Point. We will leave soon and head back home to get it. This morning I took the dog for the usual walk then picked my mom up for another walk. I was so tired afterwards I took a little nap on the couch. Shortly after noon we went to lunch with the whole family plus my daughters friend and her mom before coming out to Irvine. It has been a fun weekend. I am glad to keep busy and spend time with my daughter.

Christmas tree, Irvine Spectrum, Irvine, CA

Black Friday

4:31pm at a bookstore in a shopping center, Irvine, California, Friday after thanksgiving. I am killing time at a bookstore while my daughter and her friend visit a virtual reality arcade. I took them both to see a movie. We are at the same shopping center as last night. What a difference between thanksgiving and Black Friday. Last night the place was deserted. Today we had to park on the top level of the farthest parking structure. This morning I slept until 6am then picked my mom up at 7:30am. We drove to Dana Point to walk around the harbor then back up The Street of the Golden Lantern. The grade is pretty steep on that road so by the time we got coffee and back to my wife’s apartment we were exhausted. After eating lunch we headed back north to drop my mom off at the hotel and to pick up my daughters friend. It is getting to be evening and the sun is setting. We will meet my mom and wife for dinner then take the friend back home.