Really messed up

12:33pm the messed up thing is that my behavior has real world consequences. By staying in my head and not interacting with people my job performance suffers. The site I am responsible for suffers. I will lose my job. My income, my home. Yet that is easier than meeting with people. Oddly enough, I like meeting with people. I am not afraid. I just don’t know how to initiate encounters. I don’t know how to make it worth their time. I don’t know how to call to action, close a sale, get the business. My efforts feel futile. So I just hang on until I am kicked out. I will get another job and repeat the process.

Mental gymnastics

8:49am I do mental gymnastics when work isn’t going well. I have to do an honest assessment of my performance. I have to compare it to previous experiences. I have to get better while protecting my ego. I am the only me I have. I have to make alternate plans if the situation ends. I have to turn it around. I have to identify and overcome barriers. The assessing, fixing and protecting are exhaustive.

Shift

1:29am I use positive language. Shift focus. True voice. Side note: staying in true voice means not talking in future tense “I need to do…” or “I have to change…” true voice also means not getting stuck in observations. “I always…” or “when ________ happens I ______.” There is a rough patch at work. Frustration with my teams performance. I am falling into familiar feelings. I am saying familiar things. And I am doing exactly what I said not too! (Future change and observation) I am shifting now…I am the captain. I am the coach. I hold people accountable. I improve performance. I raise expectations. I am a leader. I win.