My daughters mother

7:28am, PST, apartment in Dana Point, CA. Saturday day morning, January 22, 2022. A year ago the woman I married stopped referring to me as her husband. She began introducing me as our daughters dad. I didn’t think much of it and still reflexively called her my wife. However this past week we had a discussion about future plans. She made it clear we will never be together in that capacity ever again. I am not shocked or offended, we have been strictly platonic for well over a decade and I have no desire to revisit that status. But I did make the decision to follow suit. We are legally married but we aren’t husband and wife any more. She is now my friend and simply the woman I know as my daughters mother.

To California

10:35am, in my car, Phoenix, Arizona, Friday morning, January 21, 2022. At 1pm I am leaving for California. It will be the first time I travel on Friday rather than Saturday. This week was exhausting and it is important to have down time. The route through San Diego might even be an option.

A Saturday Afternoon in Orange County

1:21pm (PST), wife and daughter’s apartment, lying in bed, Dana Point, CA, Saturday afternoon, January 8, 2022. I arrived at 11am after leaving Chandler at approximately 5am (MST). When I arrived we sat at the table and ate leftovers for lunch before doing school work. Now I am napping while my daughter plays an online game. The wife is in the living room and the dog is lying next to me.

Christmas night 2021

8:19pm Pacific, Valencia, CA, at relatives, Saturday night, Christmas, December 25, 2021. We traveled north today and arrived shortly after 2pm. Dinner was Prime Rib with pie for dessert. I took mom to the hotel an hour ago then came back to watch a movie. Work called at 7:30pm (8:30pm Arizona time). A patient had a fall. The nurse who covers area is not answering her phone. I tried the clinical director but she didn’t answer. Finally the traveling nurse picked up. She is calling the community. I have not heard back from her on next steps.

Christmas morning 2021

5:27am, Laguna Niguel, out with the dog, Saturday morning, December 25, 2021, Christmas Day. Woke up around 4:30am to set out the stockings and ‘Santa’ gifts. It is drizzling and wet, which means the usual morning walk questionable (The dog went to the groomers recently and shouldn’t get dirty) This afternoon we are driving north to celebrate Christmas with family.

Feels like a typical Monday

6:02am, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, Monday morning, December 13, 2021. It feels like a typical Monday. I am grouchy, everything annoys me, and time can’t move fast enough. Nothing is particularly wrong, yet everything gets on my nerves. The drive yesterday was fine. I left Dana Point around 10:30am Pacific (11:30am Arizona), stopped once in Palm Desert and made it to Chandler before sunset. Then I went to bed early and didn’t get up until 5:30am, which means I skipped my morning workout. Maybe that is why I am irritated, too much sleep and not enough exercise.

Attending a funeral today

6:22am (pacific) Palm Desert, California, Saturday morning, December 11, 2021. I am traveling to Orange County today to attend the funeral of my daughter’s friend’s father. Actually, I should say, my friend. I knew him well, at least as parents of similar aged children know each other. We attended many school events over the years and volunteered our time together, talking about the frustrations of life and the enjoyment of fatherhood. It is hard to believe he is gone. I will hug my daughter extra long when I get there, life feels rather fragile at the moment.

Monday after thanksgiving

6:03am in Arizona apartment, Monday morning, after thanksgiving. My energy has a positive flow with no post-weekend let down. I am feeling refreshed and ready to work. The holiday was busy and I spent more time in Irvine/Lake Forest than Dana Point, but it was enjoyable. I like to be active. Keeping busy keeps me from overthinking.

Leaving

9am, in Dana Point, Sunday morning. My mom and I are heading back to Arizona. It was a good weekend but a little frantic. Having my mom stay so far north created some logistics issues but nothing unmanageable. I have been thinking about the WIL a lot this trip. Of course, I am always thinking about the WIL. Some days I stuff my feelings and think I can move on. Other times I realize I can never move on.

Back to shopping

3:59pm Irvine California, shopping center, Saturday afternoon. We are back at the same shopping center as before. The girls had credits left over from the virtual reality arcade and we had to buy a birthday present. They are also shopping for cheap accessories like necklaces and rings. I ended up having to order a hoodie online for the birthday present. We need to pick it up at a store closer to Dana Point. We will leave soon and head back home to get it. This morning I took the dog for the usual walk then picked my mom up for another walk. I was so tired afterwards I took a little nap on the couch. Shortly after noon we went to lunch with the whole family plus my daughters friend and her mom before coming out to Irvine. It has been a fun weekend. I am glad to keep busy and spend time with my daughter.