6:58pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday night, January 9, 2023. Had another conversation last night with my daughter’s mom about officially ending our relationship and getting a divorce. At this point I am alright with it. We have known each other 25 years yet, we have been platonic for well over a decade now. While we get along and are friendly, we are not truly married. For the longest time the concept of divorce did not sit well with me. I couldn’t accept that what was once so beautiful could come to and end. But maybe we both just had to reach this place where we could honestly say it is over. I suppose we are at that place. Whatever the future holds it I look forward to it and embrace a brand new start.
Tag: standard
Sunday, January 8, 2023
9:33pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Sunday night, January 8, 2022. Set up a new phone today. Making sure all of my apps and accounts are working properly as been a struggle but, so far no major problems. It has been a good day; went for the full walk in Dana Point this morning, took my daughter to lunch around noon, then did more apartment hunting in the evening. After two days I realize I will most likely end up in Rancho Santa Margarita rather than Lake Forest. It is still to be determined but I will know more at the end of the week. For now it is nice just to be making some progress.
Apartment hunting
4:49pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Saturday afternoon, January 7, 2023. We are going to see a movie tonight in Irvine. That means getting home late. I don’t mind, it will be nice to get out of the house instead of sitting on the couch. I drove in from Palm Desert this morning then ran errands before checking out apartment complexes in Lake Forest. Nothing stood out as a place I want to live. I will check out more properties tomorrow. Hopefully one will stand out. I did decide to get a two bedroom. That way when my daughter or mom want to stay they have their own space without feeling like they are putting me out.
Consistent, direct and knowledgeable
6:16pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Friday night, January 6, 2023. Since I can remember my sole focus in relationships has been pleasing others. That is, trying to make people like me by being agreeable. While positivity is commendable, I wonder; was I ever anything more than inoffensive? Did I provide value to those that encountered me on the road of life? If I am honest, the answer is “No.” I didn’t know who I was, my sense of self was not defined. Consequently, I feared being exposed as an imposter if someone got too close or asked too many questions. I don’t feel that way any more. Recently, I started my third year as a director and leader. Now I provide considerable more value in relationships because I am consistent, direct and knowledgeable. I appreciate who I was in the past but I enjoy even more who I am in the present.
Getting serious about the move
6:09pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday night, January 5, 2023. Time to start getting serious about the move to California. I need to establish residency for my drivers license renewal so I booked an apartment tour this coming Saturday in Lake Forest. I don’t know much about the area other than it seems nice and is close to my daughter and her mom without being too close. Besides, I won’t be there very often what with traveling for work and all. I can’t believe how much things have changed recently. Not even two years ago I knew nothing about Arizona or what job I would have. Now, that time is coming to an end.
Re-commit to grow
6:20pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Tuesday evening, January 3, 2023. Worked with the marketing team this afternoon to identify opportunities for new business. It has been a neglected part of our operation the past two months. We just haven’t had adequate staff to take new referrals so we stopped reaching out to key customers. However now, after two good hires, things are looking up. We can look to grow again. It takes a certain mindset to grow. First, you have to have tenacity to generate business. Second, you need creativity to sheperd that business onto service. Finally, you have to have skill to provide the proper level of care once they come onboard. If a component is missing the business fails. Now is the time for us to re-commit our efforts and get the machine working properly again.
The donut hole in happiness
2:34pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday afternoon, January 2, 2022. There is a donut hole in my quest for happiness. When I avoid work, stress-free mornings are followed by tediously empty afternoons. However, embracing challenge means my free time is pervaded with unmanageable anxiety. Avoiding work causes existential angst, embracing it means crippling pressure. I try to find balance but, in reality, I am not sure it is possible. No matter what, there will always be something missing. It is best to accept the situation and make peace with the vacancy, whatever form that may be.
New Year’s Day 2023
7:22pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Sunday night, January 1, 2023, New Year’s Day. Stayed up until after midnight last night to celebrate the new year with family. We had a fun time playing board games, listening to music and watching firework displays across the country. This morning I woke up later than usual and went for a short walk. It rained heavily last night so both the dog and I were soaked when we got home. Not much happened other than I watched a movie, picked up dinner and ran errands with my daughter. Not an overly ambitious start to the year but a good day nonetheless.
New Year’s Eve 2022
6:25pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Saturday evening, December 31, 2022, New Year’s Eve. The weather has been foggy and rainy all day. I drove I’m from Palm Desert this morning then picked up my daughter to visit friends in San Juan Capistrano. Afterwards we picked up dinner and settled in to celebrate the new year. My daughter is playing a game on her tablet and I am watching football. Time will tell if we have enough energy to see midnight.
Friday night in Palm Desert, California
5:21pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Friday night, December 30, 2022. Left the office and returned to the hotel. Usually I go back to Orange County Friday afternoon or late morning but, with no other staff available I stayed until closing. Next week a regional colleague will be on site. However, she does not arrive until Tuesday afternoon and leaves early Thursday so I will be in Palm Desert again for five nights next week. It is strange to be here on Friday but, it is better than hurrying home just to turn around again. I plan on sleeping in tomorrow, working out, and enjoying the free hotel breakfast before going to spend the new year with my daughter.
mikemeyer949 