5:58pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday evening, January 16, 2023. I have mixed feelings about moving back to Dana Point. On one hand, it is the most home like place I know in the world, having lived there for eleven years. On the other hand, the time there wasn’t always great. Often I struggled to justify the stress it took to be a resident, both financially and emotionally. When I packed up the condo two years ago and moved to Arizona I made peace with goodbye. I knew it was time for change. Of course the process was easier with my daughter and her mom still living in the area. I enjoyed visiting Dana Point on weekends without the baggage of citizenship. Now that I am moving back I worry about falling into old thought patterns. Arizona was good for me. I became a newer, better version of myself. I want to continue the process of evolving. I guess time will tell if Dana Point redux promotes or hinders my journey of personal growth.
Tag: USA
Sunday, January 15, 2023 in Orange County, California
4:46pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Sunday afternoon, January 15, 2023. My daughter, her friend and her mom joined me for breakfast with my cousin and her family in Dana Point this morning. We met them at the harbor because they were coming from San Clemente. Afterwards, we went to the beach to build sand castles and continue our visit. Even though the sky we still managed to have a good time. This afternoon I drove to San Juan, signed the lease on my new apartment and paid the deposit. I will get the keys middle of next month and move my stuff back from Arizona a little later. Now we are relaxing and cooking dinner before the week begins tomorrow.
Upcoming move and a trip to Arizona
4:42pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Wednesday afternoon, January 11, 2023. I left the office early this afternoon but decided not to drive west. Instead, I am staying an extra night in Palm Desert before driving to Orange County tomorrow. I am taking the next two days off from work because my daughter’s school is hosting a film fest tomorrow night in the city of Orange and I don’t want to miss it. Then on Friday I am focusing solely on finding the right community for my upcoming move. I have narrowed down my choices and know the area I want to live. I need to determine the best community and lock it down. That way I can move my stuff back to California and establish residency again. On a side note; I think I will head to Arizona next weekend. It has been a while since I visited and to tell the truth, I kind of miss it.
Dinner with friends
7:57pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California,USA, Tuesday night, January 10, 2023. My friend from Washington and her husband are visiting the area this week. They invited me to dinner tonight at the resort where they are staying. I saw them this October at their Halloween party in Utah but didn’t get to spend too much time talking with them back then. Tonight was nice. It was just the three of us, sitting down, drinking wine, eating and catching up. I don’t get many opportunities like this; to have a home (or at least vacation rental) cooked meal, spend time with friends and appreciate not being alone yet another night in the desert.
Apartment hunting
4:49pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Saturday afternoon, January 7, 2023. We are going to see a movie tonight in Irvine. That means getting home late. I don’t mind, it will be nice to get out of the house instead of sitting on the couch. I drove in from Palm Desert this morning then ran errands before checking out apartment complexes in Lake Forest. Nothing stood out as a place I want to live. I will check out more properties tomorrow. Hopefully one will stand out. I did decide to get a two bedroom. That way when my daughter or mom want to stay they have their own space without feeling like they are putting me out.
Consistent, direct and knowledgeable
6:16pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Friday night, January 6, 2023. Since I can remember my sole focus in relationships has been pleasing others. That is, trying to make people like me by being agreeable. While positivity is commendable, I wonder; was I ever anything more than inoffensive? Did I provide value to those that encountered me on the road of life? If I am honest, the answer is “No.” I didn’t know who I was, my sense of self was not defined. Consequently, I feared being exposed as an imposter if someone got too close or asked too many questions. I don’t feel that way any more. Recently, I started my third year as a director and leader. Now I provide considerable more value in relationships because I am consistent, direct and knowledgeable. I appreciate who I was in the past but I enjoy even more who I am in the present.
Re-commit to grow
6:20pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Tuesday evening, January 3, 2023. Worked with the marketing team this afternoon to identify opportunities for new business. It has been a neglected part of our operation the past two months. We just haven’t had adequate staff to take new referrals so we stopped reaching out to key customers. However now, after two good hires, things are looking up. We can look to grow again. It takes a certain mindset to grow. First, you have to have tenacity to generate business. Second, you need creativity to sheperd that business onto service. Finally, you have to have skill to provide the proper level of care once they come onboard. If a component is missing the business fails. Now is the time for us to re-commit our efforts and get the machine working properly again.
The donut hole in happiness
2:34pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday afternoon, January 2, 2022. There is a donut hole in my quest for happiness. When I avoid work, stress-free mornings are followed by tediously empty afternoons. However, embracing challenge means my free time is pervaded with unmanageable anxiety. Avoiding work causes existential angst, embracing it means crippling pressure. I try to find balance but, in reality, I am not sure it is possible. No matter what, there will always be something missing. It is best to accept the situation and make peace with the vacancy, whatever form that may be.
New Year’s Day 2023
7:22pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Sunday night, January 1, 2023, New Year’s Day. Stayed up until after midnight last night to celebrate the new year with family. We had a fun time playing board games, listening to music and watching firework displays across the country. This morning I woke up later than usual and went for a short walk. It rained heavily last night so both the dog and I were soaked when we got home. Not much happened other than I watched a movie, picked up dinner and ran errands with my daughter. Not an overly ambitious start to the year but a good day nonetheless.
Ready for the week to be done
7:17pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday night, December 22, 2022. I had to provide a counseling form to an employee today. Such matter are never easy, not for me, nor the employee involved. Unfortunately, the situation escalated to needing a second, more intense, conversation in the afternoon. Which will now be followed by a final discussion tomorrow. At this point, all my energy is drained. I am ready for the week to be done and to move on to our holiday celebration. Tomorrow afternoon mom and I return to Orange County. Hopefully the trip goes well and we can get some last minute shopping in before enjoying time as a family.
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