6:17pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday evening, January 26, 2023. Today is my nephew’s 31st birthday. That’s significant because twenty years ago, when I turned 31, we lived close to his family in Valencia. In between jobs, I spent afternoons hanging out with him, doing homework, shooting hoops, and shuttling him to various activities. I look back fondly on those weeks. It was a rare opportunity, before full adulthood, to be carefree and spend quality time with a relative I might otherwise not have known. It was also that age, when shortly thereafter, I took the Utah hospice chaplain job. I consider that period the happiest of my life. Realizing he is now the same age brings back good memories. He’s been through a rough couple of years lately. For the occasion of his birthday, I hope he finds his “Utah” soon. And gets to enjoy a little happiness in his life as well.
Tag: Utah
Eventually all things are lost
6:41pm, mountain standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Sunday evening, January 22, 2023. There is a finite amount of time left in Arizona. I am struggling to say goodbye. I can’t stay but, letting go is difficult. A part of me exists here that doesn’t subsist anywhere else; waking up in my apartment, going for walks, exercising in the gym and drinking coffee while watching the weather. It is the best start to a morning I have ever experienced. Now the opportunities do those things are dwindling. Life is like that; you celebrate times and then let them go. It was just announced the minor league baseball team in Salt Lake City, Utah is moving to the suburbs. They are going to tear down the stadium in the area where I have watched games since I was nine years old. So many memories with my brother, my dad, my family exist in that ballpark. It is sad to see it go but, time marches on. Eventually all things fade and are lost. We have no choice but to enjoy them while we can and miss them when they are no longer here.
Friday night in Salt Lake City, Utah
5:09pm, mountain standard time, hotel in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA, Friday evening, December 16, 2022. Hanging out at the hotel in Salt Lake City, watching Happy Gilmore. I flew in this afternoon and connected with my mom around 3pm. Now, we are going to grab dinner but, with no car and it being very cold, we will order in or eat at the hotel. Tomorrow we fly back to Orange County first thing in the morning. The good news is I feel better than I did yesterday. Perhaps it was wearing a mask that had sat in my trunk for a year that made me feel stuffy.
At the Salt Lake City airport
3:17pm, mountain standard time, Salt Lake City International Airport, Salt Lake City, Utah, Sunday afternoon, October 30, 2022. Today is the thirteen year anniversary of my last day as a full time hospice chaplain. The party last night was to be with co-workers from that era. Unfortunately, two couldn’t make it and one has a serious illness. Consequently, it was not the reunion anticipated. Still, it was nice to see old friends and a few long forgotten acquaintances. Now, after a farewell lunch with my mom, I am at the airport, traveling back to Orange County to spend Halloween with my daughter.
Killing time before the party
6:06pm, mountain standard time, parking lot in Ogden, Utah. Drove to Utah with my mom to attend a wedding reception/Halloween party for an old work friend. On the way we stopped at a costume store in Ogden to buy a t-shirt so I have something a little festive. The party doesn’t start until 7pm so we are waiting and killing time scrolling on our phones and talking.
Getting ready
5:55pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Saturday evening, October, 22, 2022. Productive day; Walked, worked out, grocery shopped, bought leather conditioner for my work bag. Did laundry, packed and watched football. Getting ready to head back to Orange County and fly to Dublin one last time before flying to utah/Wyoming to see my mom and friends.
Some answers will never be known
11:37am, pacific standard time, Santa Ana/Orange County/John Wayne Airport, Santa Ana, California, USA, Monday morning, October 17, 2022. Waiting for my flight to Oakland. It was a good weekend in Orange County. Since learning of my new assignment in Palm Desert I have felt at peace. The future, present and past are in balance, which feels nice. Today is the 16 year anniversary of my dad’s death. Lots of memories of him and where I was sixteen years ago. I was working as a hospice chaplain in Ogden, Utah. When we heard the news we gathered in Wyoming the rest of the week and had the memorial service on the 20th. I miss him and wonder who I would be if he hadn’t died at the age of 65. I guess some answers will never be known.
Our Lady of the Holy Trinity
4:56pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Saturday evening, July 9, 2022. I was excited was to see the conservation easement on the monastery land in Huntsville, Utah has been finalized. I have written about Our Lady of the Holy Trinity Trappist Monastery a couple of times. It is such a sacred place for so many people in the area I grew up (Southwest Wyoming/Northern Utah). Though the monks are no longer there (except for those in the cemetery) the powerful energy they created remains to this day.
Utah update: May 15
7:13am, pacific standard time, airport in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA, Sunday morning, May 15, 2022. We left Henderson early yesterday morning and drove straight to Mesquite, Nevada. After gambling a little our trip continued north. We arrived in Salt Lake City at 4pm. For dinner we selected burgers and beers downturn. When we finished mom was tired and wanted to turn in for the evening. I dropped her off at the hotel and continued on alone, driving around for a couple of hours, visiting various places, taking stock of what was new. So much has changed since I lived here, yet it all looks so familiar. A lot of memories are rushing through my mind right now. It is an emotional morning.
Layoffs
5:42, pacific standard time, apartment in Chandler, Arizona, USA, Thursday morning, May 12, 2022. Since this past weekend I have felt a unique sense of peace. Ironically, it is because I half-thought I would lose my job on Monday. The worksite has not been doing well for some time and, as the leader, responsibility ultimately falls on me. Hence, the stress of being relieved of my position is ever constant. To protect my psyche I began cataloguing possible benefits of not working; I could enjoy the trip back to Utah/Wyoming with my mom tomorrow, appreciate a relaxing week in Arizona when I return, then travel to Orange County, spend time with my daughter, and not rush back to a dreaded Monday. Those thoughts have buoyed me through the week. But, yesterday after work, the regional supervisor texted me and said she would be in the office this morning at 9am to layoff staff. I honestly don’t know if I will be one of the casualties. Either way, If I am let go or not, people I have worked with for over a year will lose their jobs today. And there is no amount of mental gymnastics I can do to make that situation feel good.
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