Monday

February 24, 2025, Monday night, 5:57pm, pacific standard time, apartment parking lot in Dana point, California, USA. Received word the CEO of the company will visit our office next week. I look forward to meeting him. The new Director of clinical care started today. That will make my job easier. Finally, I start my first week as administrator on call. Hopefully it isn’t too busy. Yesterday, I started sorting my personal affirmations. A bunch came to me throughout the day. I am keeping a running list on my computer and my phone.

A couple more days

6:47pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Tuesday evening, January 31, 2023. I didn’t leave the office all day except for a short walk in the morning. There were too many meetings scheduled back to back and the only window available to step out occurred when everyone else had already left for lunch. It is alright, I survived. There are only two full days left in my work week. After tomorrow and Thursday I will hit the road Friday morning. The weeks feel shorter now which reduces my anxiety. I can survive a couple more days and make it to the weekend.

The fifth Monday in January

5:35pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday night, January 30, 2023. Today is the fifth Monday of January. Which makes a long month feel even longer. Add overcast skies with drizzling rain and you have a very depressing day. I took my daughter to school this morning and drove to Palm Desert this afternoon. Work was slow so I left early to grab dinner and get settled. I am staying at another new hotel. This is a vacation club type resort, which is the third resort I have stayed at in Palm Desert. Of the three I like this one the best. It has a good energy, it is close to the office and the room is spacious. Hopefully, the week will go smooth and this trip will be a good one.

Upcoming move and a trip to Arizona

4:42pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Wednesday afternoon, January 11, 2023. I left the office early this afternoon but decided not to drive west. Instead, I am staying an extra night in Palm Desert before driving to Orange County tomorrow. I am taking the next two days off from work because my daughter’s school is hosting a film fest tomorrow night in the city of Orange and I don’t want to miss it. Then on Friday I am focusing solely on finding the right community for my upcoming move. I have narrowed down my choices and know the area I want to live. I need to determine the best community and lock it down. That way I can move my stuff back to California and establish residency again. On a side note; I think I will head to Arizona next weekend. It has been a while since I visited and to tell the truth, I kind of miss it.

Getting serious about the move

6:09pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday night, January 5, 2023. Time to start getting serious about the move to California. I need to establish residency for my drivers license renewal so I booked an apartment tour this coming Saturday in Lake Forest. I don’t know much about the area other than it seems nice and is close to my daughter and her mom without being too close. Besides, I won’t be there very often what with traveling for work and all. I can’t believe how much things have changed recently. Not even two years ago I knew nothing about Arizona or what job I would have. Now, that time is coming to an end.

Re-commit to grow

6:20pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Tuesday evening, January 3, 2023. Worked with the marketing team this afternoon to identify opportunities for new business. It has been a neglected part of our operation the past two months. We just haven’t had adequate staff to take new referrals so we stopped reaching out to key customers. However now, after two good hires, things are looking up. We can look to grow again. It takes a certain mindset to grow. First, you have to have tenacity to generate business. Second, you need creativity to sheperd that business onto service. Finally, you have to have skill to provide the proper level of care once they come onboard. If a component is missing the business fails. Now is the time for us to re-commit our efforts and get the machine working properly again.

The donut hole in happiness

2:34pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday afternoon, January 2, 2022. There is a donut hole in my quest for happiness. When I avoid work, stress-free mornings are followed by tediously empty afternoons. However, embracing challenge means my free time is pervaded with unmanageable anxiety. Avoiding work causes existential angst, embracing it means crippling pressure. I try to find balance but, in reality, I am not sure it is possible. No matter what, there will always be something missing. It is best to accept the situation and make peace with the vacancy, whatever form that may be.

Mom made it safely

11:18pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Tuesday night, December 28, 2022. Mom made it safely to Wyoming without my accompanying her. The accomplishment was a team effort; my daughter’s mom drove her to the airport, my daughter and her friend got her through check in and finally, a family acquaintance picked her up in Salt Lake City for the drive back to Wyoming. I am glad she made it and, to be honest, happy I didn’t have to go. This weekend gave me a chance to relax and change perspective regarding work. Now I feel less stressed. If I had missed work yesterday I would have fallen back into the same energy as before. I needed a change. Fortunately there are only three more work days until 2023. Time to make the best of them.

Between 2pm and 4pm

1:58pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Tuesday afternoon, December 13, 2022. I get anxious at work, especially when the afternoon rolls around. After lunch I start to daydream about taking time off and not having to be accountable. However, when I am not at the office, or at work for that matter, I still get anxious in the afternoon. I guess some moment during the day has to be the low point. For me, it is the hours between 2pm and 4pm. Once I am past that time that the day is good.

Worse than I anticipated

6:04pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Wednesday night, December 7, 2022. Today was even longer than yesterday. After a full day of meetings, our branch office was inundated with various problems including staff behavior issues and billing mistakes. We tried to address all the concerns in a timely manner but, there were just too many. Therefore they have to wait and be tackled first thing tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, the meetings also continue tomorrow. And they will be longer and more intense than today. I am beyond tired and grouchy. I knew this would be a tough week but, it is worse than I anticipated.