The narrative

Looking back on my posts I can see the narrative I am writing (living). How I choose to frame the situation, the observations I am making and how I interpret events.

Am I walking a path of a thousand miles or am I futilely going around in circles?

My pattern of behavior has been consistent for decades. I have been in lows before and and have hit many highs.

I am in a low right now.

And it feels like it will never end.

It is self pity but I wish my consistent pattern was a little more productive. Or stable. Or this low would end.

Pattern of behavior

This is what I always do.

I have written hundreds of thousands of words if not over a million since I first started writing around fall of 1995 more likely spring 1996. That is basically when I gave up dreams of being a rock star (that had the same pattern) and focused more on being a writer. I did it through school and now almost 21 years of work.

This is what I do. This is how I write. Will I ever meaningfully share it? Does anyone want to read it? Will I be a coach, a mentor, an author, a thought leader? Or will I just pound out hundreds of words futilely until I die?

How does this tie in to my objective? I always see next step and growth riding on the wave of writing (and sharing) but the two worlds never intersect.