9:28 am getting ready to leave and go back to Arizona. Lots of emotions. Staying positive. Not slipping into negativity or sadness. New begging. Fresh start

I win. I am successful. I am in control of my emotions and feelings. I am a leader who helped people find happiness and success.

Interesting observation. I am competitive. I put myself in competitive situations. Then when it is time to compete-I am throwing this energy away after I write this- I shy away from the competition and instead look to when I run away. Or try ad find safety. Or settle for just getting by.

I am a winner. I rise to every challenge. I am the foundation. The institution that people rely on.

Left Phoenix at 4am to return to Dana point. Drove four hours to palm desert. Pulled in to get coffee and use the bathroom and punctures a tire. Had to spend almost two hours getting the spare tire on and inflated. Was able to drive in on the spare. Mom ordered two new tires. I will have to leave the truck here and take the car.

A lot of energy connecting to wyoming on the drive. Thinking about first job. I am focusing on good memories.

6:29pm back in my apartment. One week of work completed.

I am keenly aware when certain emotions evoke negative thoughts. I decide whether or not to embrace those thoughts. if I choose i can think about something else. Or I can remove the negative thought/memory from the feeling. Either way I am in control of my experience.

Memories I have been enjoying this morning. High school graduation. Winning the state championship in baseball. College graduation. Finishing the job at the cement plant in croydon

Last night I called my mom then called my daughter. We video talked. We talked about figures/dolls she used to collect. We looked at them online and cracked jokes for twenty minutes. There were no feelings of regret, failure. We were just having fun. She asked me to show her the room again. She is excited to see it in person

7:07am. Went for a walk. Exercised in the fitness center. Made coffee. Showered. Got dressed. Did the dishes from last night.

I am disciplined with my thoughts. When thinking about memories I choose to focus on positive thoughts. I remember small vignettes. I cherish the moment in time. I do not try to solve the entire puzzle. There is no perfect way to look at the whole of life.

I am a rock. A foundation. An institution. I am not going anywhere or faltering.

I frame work experiences and relationships past and present in positive light. I am a caring person. I am a disciplined person. I am a happy person.

6:30pm home before dinner. I stayed in a really good mind space all day today. Arizona is a continuation of the beautiful Utah years. Today I did not miss the past or revisit failure. I was thankful for the second chapter of happiness that I now find myself in.

7:54am just arrived at work. The whole drive in I was calm, in the moment and appreciative. Very welcome feelings

6:59am finished showering. I find it fascinating/interesting that this job is best case scenario. Not too busy, new place, fresh start. I can see this has the happy ending I long for. But finding that perspective is a huge grind. Slipping into worry is much easier. About numbers. Relationships with boss, employees, community. Past experiences. It is like trying to concentrate on a task while a hundred people are screaming all at once.