December 16, 2024, Monday evening, 6:28pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. My daughter was upset yesterday, though she wouldn’t tell me why. Turns out she missed the audition deadline at her music school. Fortunately she has chance to make it up on Wednesday. Another step in her journey to be a larger than life stage performer. I wanted the same thing when I was her age. Hard to believe how fast the time has gone since those teenage years. On a professional note, I heard from the Costa Mesa VP. We are going to meet in LA on Wednesday.

December 15,2024, Sunday evening, 7;07:pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Watching the Packer /Seahawk game right now. Today I bought a new lamp, some rugs and a shower curtain. The curtain is to partition off the bathroom. The rugs and lamp are to create a space for my mom to sit. Her and my niece are coming out next week and I want them to be comfortable. The last thing I need is a comfortable chair for my mom to use in the bedroom so she and my niece have privacy. I also started decorating for Christmas.

December 14, 2024, Saturday morning, 8:51am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. If I had all the time in the world I still wouldn’t know what to do. I love the process of creating but I find no pleasure in sharing my work. I purposefully avoid interacting with an “audience” and being beholden to expectations. I don’t say that as a point of pride, the opposite actually. I am isolated from relationships; artistically, professionally and personally. I used to think that was authentic, even noble. But in reality, it just means I am alone.

December 13, 2024, Friday evening, 6:45pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Worked out, took my daughter to school, came home and took it easy. Still dealing with cold symptoms though starting to feel better. I picked my daughter up at 4pm, then picked her bf up in Ladera, dropped them off in Aliso Viejo then came home. Not a monumental day but not too terrible either.

Decmeber 12, 2024, Thursday afternoon, 2:18m, pacific standard time, office building parking lot, Laguna Niguel, California, USA. Just received a call from the Rancho VP. He was gauging my interest in taking the Orange County branch instead. I told him I would prefer that. We are scheduling a dinner for next week with the VP of sales and marketing. This could work out well. I need to get back into reality. I have spent too much time alone with my thoughts. It is making me stir crazy.

December 11,2024, Wednesday night, 6:44pm, pacific standard time, parking lot, rock school, San Juan Capistrano, California, USA. I have been feeling under the weather since Monday morning. DayQuil helped but it has worn off. My daughter is almost done with her singing lesson. Once I take her home I will get to my house and sleep. I haven’t heard from rancho this week. The VP texted me on Sunday saying he wanted to talk but hasn’t reached out yet. I’m the meantime I am going to spruce up my chaplain resume and see what happens. I got another email from The Humanist Society about sending Christmas cards to inmates. I will volunteer to do that.

December 10,2024, Tuesday afternoon, 4:19pm, pacific standard time, Starbucks parking lot, Laguna Hills, California, USA. Just completed a survey for The Humanist Society. I committed to leading classes on end of life care and being a Humanist. That provides an outlet to interact with people. Which is good. I am getting tired of being in my own mind. I have been reflecting today on inner dialogue and outward interactions. Often I feel the thoughts in my head don’t align with my spoken words and actions. That could be why I find social settings draining. I am always putting on an act that exhausts me. My inner dialogue should be congruent with my outward relationships. I think the CEO/President/Chairman energy is what I need to honor inside and out. That is the most aligned I can be.

December 9, 2024, Monday afternoon, 2:05pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I made it to LAX to pick up my family at 5:47am. They landed two hours later but I don’t mind waiting. Better than sitting in traffic. I hung out at the cell phone parking lot off Vicksburg and 96th St. on our way home we grabbed Dunkin. Then a short while later my daughter wanted Panera for lunch. Consequently I have spent the day picking her up and taking her places. She is tired and doesn’t want to go to school tomorrow. On a personal note I am being receptive to the universe. I will either continue not working, get a job comparable to what I had, find an opportunity bigger than my imagination can comprehend, pivot to a new industry, or go back to being a chaplain. I am open to all possibilities.

Decmeber 8, 2024, Sunday afternoon, 12:56,pm, pacific standard time, office complex in Irvine, California, USA. Last day hanging with the dog. Got out of the house and drove to Irvine and to walk around the office complex.

December 7, 2024, Saturday night, 8:02pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California,USA. Walked this morning, worked out got coffee then spent the day with the dog. I have been re-reading Graham Greene’s The Power and the Glory. Also watching Brooklyn 99 and Black Dove. This evening I thought a good pursuit in between jobs would be to learn a new language. I am looking for an immersive Spanish tutor.