January 16, 2024, Tuesday morning, 5:46am, pacific standard time, hotel room in Bakersfield, California, USA. Yesterday I checked on the hospice I used to work at in Phoenix. I knew their lease expired at the end of the year and was curious if they moved. Turns out the site has been permanently closed. I am not surprised. They struggled to find patients even when I was there two years ago. Still, seeing it closed for good has left me feeling sad.

January 14-15, 2024, Monday morning, 7:45, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA, Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Yesterday, I spent a lot of time reading blog posts I had written three years ago. That is when I started doing this exercise in earnest. Back then I desperately needed a forum to feel heard. Now the need is not as immediate, but still vital. Feeling heard gives me an inner peace I have not found elsewhere. This morning has been beautiful. The sun is shining through my window. I am working but since it is a holiday nothing feels overwhelming. I have a couple calls this morning then I will head to Bakersfield and Visalia for a couple days.

January 13, 2024, Saturday night, 11:38pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Woke up a little later than usual, went for a walk up Blue Lantern, got coffee, then came home. I went through the storage bins in my room to find an old Blu Ray player. My daughter wanted to show her mom the movie from film fest. Unfortunately, when I hooked it up the machine no longer worked. Not surprising, it had been in storage for ten years. I will call a friend tomorrow and see if we can borrow one.

January 12, 2024, Friday night, 7:07pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA. Still in Aliso Viejo with my daughter. Her mom is supposed to be home soon. She called from the road and said she might stay in Dana Point. I doubt that will happen. She is frustrated with our daughter and feels unappreciated but I am sure she would rather be home than in my apartment. Personally, I feel tired myself. I hope she gets here and decides soon. Either way, I am ready to turn in for the night.

January 11, 2024, Thursday night, 9:24pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA. Tonight was the film festival for my daughter’s school. The event took place in Irvine at the theater we frequent often. The film she starred in closed the show. This isn’t just dad talk, she did a great job. She sincerely has a powerful screen presence. I was so proud of her even though she was embarrassed by all the attention. when it was over we took her friend home then came back to the apartment in Aliso Viejo. Her mom comes back from Arizona tomorrow. I will miss getting to spend so much time with my daughter. We had a good routine this week.

January 10, 2024, Wednesday night, 5:54pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA. Another day of survey activity in Palm Desert. Today didn’t go so well. There are incomplete files that need to be corrected. I am thoroughly enjoying this week with my daughter but i am also antsy because I should be at the branch for survey. One more day, we will see how it goes. I will relax and let things happen as they may. Boss wise it is going to take some getting used to the new leader. He has a more direct management style. I am not going anywhere but, if I am honest, work has lost a little luster.

January 9, 2024, Tuesday night, 9:01pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California,USA. I was driving to the gym after dropping my daughter off at school when it was announced a surveyor was in the Palm Desert branch. Instead of working out I drove back to the apartment, showered and fed the dog then drove two and half hours east. I stayed 2 hours, then drove back to pick my daughter up from school at 4pm in Laguna Hills. On the way back I stopped twice to lead zoom meetings, the second of which was to announce my boss leaving. Still sad about that. On top of all that I had an optometry appointment tonight. I am up past my bed time. Going to read and watch some videos then go to sleep.

January 8, 2024, Monday night, 7:23pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA. I went to pick my daughter up at school this afternoon. Five minutes before 4pm my supervisor called. She let me know she is resigning. I have been gutted ever since. There has been so much change and loss at work but she was a constant. I didn’t realize how much I depend on her until now. I feel alone. The branch leadership is going to be dispirited as well. There just aren’t many leaders left. She is leaving as the west coast Vice President. My counter part in the Pacific Northwest is leaving this week. The Northern California position has been vacant with no viable candidates. It is just me and the area leader for Arizona. It will take a moment to digest all this.

January 7, 2024, Sunday morning, 9:05am, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California,USA. My daughter’s mom left for Chandler, Arizona this morning. She is driving my personal car, the one I drove back and forth to Arizona for two years. It feels surreal and a bit nostalgic to see her leave Sunday morning like I used to back in the day. I am glad she gets out of the house and I get to spend time with my daughter and the dog. It is going to be a different week for everyone.

January 6, 2024, Saturday night, 7:21pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. A friend came over today and brought her electric scooters. We rode them to Doheny Beach then sat and talked for a while. After riding back to the apartment we parked the scooters and drove to have lunch at Board and Brew. Then we came back and hung out until she had to leave at 3pm. It was a ideal Southern California day. Tomorrow, my daughter’s mom leaves for Arizona. I will spend the week in Aliso Viejo working and taking care of her and the dog. I am excited we get to spend time together.