Author: mikemeyer949

Mindful

9:38am I am being mindful of how my thoughts create stress and fear. Especially familiar thoughts that produce familiar feelings. It seems I can’t be happy. That I will search for thoughts until I can find something that worries me. Then being worried is the state that feels familiar. It doesn’t feel good. I don’t like it. But it is known.

Let go

7:26am I realize a lot of my stress comes from owning problems. The census at work being down bothers me. but I refuse to own it. It is a problem I am working to address. There are many areas that need improving. That is one of theme. I will come up with a plan and fix it like I do everything else. I will not allow myself to be run off. Or to give up. I am the captain. I am the leader for the entire voyage.

Closing

6:17pm I am fascinated by the internal switch flip that allows someone to be a successful closer. It is the confidence to sell a product/service then have then take it away just enough. The subtle pull back switches someone from logically needing to emotionally wanting. it is “setting the hook.” Waiting for the right moment. the bait is in the mouth. When do you flip the wrist and reel em in?

Journeyman

9:17am I was contacted by a former sales colleague this morning. He asked me to be a reference for a new job. I said I would be happy to. I feel for the guy. He has had a similar career arc in sales that I had. He is a former athlete. Competitive guy. Really nice. But just not able to produce final results. At my present job I enjoy the work, feel I am doing good. But the census and revenue just aren’t there. My sales failure continue to dog me. Even when I am not in sales!

Fear and anxiety thielicke

“Fear always refers to something definite. I am afraid of getting wet because of certain meteorological factors. Or I am afraid of a political complication in view of certain observations and developments.”

“…anxiety refers to a a state which the question what is feared is either secondary or is not even asked. The indefiniteness of the threat is of the very essence of anxiety.” Helmut Thielicke, The Silence of God, pg 4

Zombie

6:11am this week went fast. It was a four day work week but still felt quick. I never got going this week. I drank beer on Monday (the holiday observed). Not too much but a fair amount. Yet Every morning I woke up feeling hungover. Not an enjoyable experience. I thought about having a couple beers and watching the basketball championship last night. It was an scenario I usually enjoy. Thursday night, good day at work, light schedule the following day. Time to have some pre-weekend beverages. But my body didn’t want it. I couldn’t stand the thought of a restless sleep and physical exhaustion. That is what gets me. Not nausea, not headaches but exhaustion. The feeling of falling asleep inside. I can’t believe how often I could drink when I was younger. Now I can drink maybe one or two days a week m. And I definitely feel it if I do.