Back at the pool

12:00pm back at the pool. Last day the family is here. It has been chaotic and exhausting having the family here. yet I dread them leaving. I don’t want to be alone. we are going to go to a drive in firework show tonight. I have felt anxious. Starting to think about work. Need to stay present. In the moment.

Path to greatness

6:09am I see a path to greatness every day. A thousand possibilities laid before me. Most mornings I am eager to get started. To see what I can accomplish. I dream about success, love, happiness and contentment. I start many adventures, but seldom see them to completion. I get distracted by other commitments. I become overwhelmed by the complexity of the mission. I encounter obstacles. I doubt my abilities. I become dejected and give up. On the path to greatness I take the first exit afforded me. I stand on the side of the road and feel sorry for myself. I pout. I grieve. I become despondent. Then i begin the process of healing. I swear I learned my lesson. I vow to do better. I pick up my countenance. Go back to the starting line and do it all over again.

Keeping a journal

6:03am this morning on the walk I was trying to remember what I did on certain weekends. I couldn’t recall my activity on certain days. I thought to myself “I need to start keeping a journal and writing things down.” I got twenty feet further when I realized how funny that is. I have been writing everything down for six months.

Modern Family 15%

5:54am I am watching Modern Family on a streaming service. Season 1 episode 13 is called “Fifteen Percent.” “People are who they are, give or take 15%. That’s how much people can change if they really want to.”

After dinner

8:12pm dinner was good. We went to the mall afterwards and walked around. The girls bought some crystals from a new age shop. Now they are discussing how to properly use them. Nice to have a weekend that doesn’t feel like it is choking the life out of me. I forgot what it was like to be active. What it was like to have fun

Dinner

4:54pm going to dinner tonight as a family. Then shopping at the mall.

Lead and Lag

11:27am sheer volume of content equals consistency. Consistency leads to focus. Volume, consistency, focus. All three are lag measures. opening up WordPress everyday, typing my fleeting thoughts is the lead measure

Check in

11:02am in the pool area again. The girls like swimming. It is a little overcast. Keeps the heat down. I don’t have anything to say. Just checking in

On a roll

7:54am this last week WordPress informed me I have made 1,000 posts. They also keep track of how many days in a row I have posted. I am up to 173. while I was walking the dog this morning I thought about my audience. Which is me. I am the audience that reads these posts. What do I find interesting? What posts do I read? Which ones do I glance over? I usually read the ones about relationships. The WIL. My daughter. Coming to terms with my marriage.

Don’t go back

6:38am I don’t want to go back to how I was living prior to my family coming out. I am thankful for the last three months. How I settled in after the move. But I want a different energy going forward. A new me for the 2nd half of the year.