Mess

I am a neurotic loner mess. I didnt say one word to another human being other than my mom and daughter today. Next week I am leading a team of healthcare professionals generating 3 million dollars in revenue. I set myself up for failure. I do high contact high profile jobs when my default setting is hermit monk. I am trapped in an absurd tomb of my own creation. I want to be a hermit monk that writes these posts/books. Connect with people. But not really connect with people because I am afraid of feedback/expectations. Feedback if it is bad. Expectations if it is good. God I am bizarre