May 19,2026, Tuesday evening, 6:01pm, pacific standard time, gym at office complex in Costa Mesa, California, USA. Today I have been thinking about starting as a hospice chaplain 23 years ago. I am also thinking about how tied to Wyoming I was with my mom still living there.Now that she has left and come to California the “path of least resistance” i imagined myself on (retiring and living in the Wyoming condo) is gone. I feel like a massive void has opened up. One I am happy to accept. Time will reveal what fills it. For now I am thankful for the perspective shift. I never liked Wyoming. I am glad to see my interminable prison sentence of 40+ years come to an end. Good riddance.

May 18,2026, Monday morning, 7:37am, pacific standard time, room 136, Hampton inn, Mesquite, Nevada,USA. I woke up just before five this morning and went for an hour walk. Afterwards I stopped by the gym for a workout. I put together the triage report for work and had breakfast with mom. We will take off after morning stand up call. I am enjoying this time and appreciating happy memories of this day and this place.

May 17,2026, Sunday afternoon, 4:25pm, mountain standard time, hotel gym, Hampton Inn, Mesquite, Nevada, USA. We got into Mesquite about an hour ago. Mom is settling in with her cat and I came to the gym to get a workout in. I missed both walks yesterday but was able to walk this morning and workout again now. Later we will grab something to eat and maybe gamble. All day I have been thinking about what it means to be liberated from Wyoming as the framing reference of my life. I have been associated with that area since I was 9years old. I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. we still have a lot of logistics to work out but I am excited to have mom coming to California and see what the next chapter of our life will look like. P.s. this is a really good gym.

May 16,2026, Saturday morning, 6:17am, pacific standard time, Long Beach AirPort, California, USA. I made it to the airport to get my mom. Last night I got my new glasses. They look a lot better than my old pair. I hated joe I looked and felt but put off getting new frames because they were so expensive. Funny how I will stay stuck in a bad situion because I don’t want to pay the price to change.

May 15,2026, 3:53pm, Friday afternoon, pacific standard time, office in Costa Mesa, California,USA. I just realized today is the 23rd anniversary of leaving Valencia, California and going to Evanston to start my job as a Chaplain in Utah. That anniversary was lost because today is also the day I returned to Arizona after taking my mom home four years ago when I was laid off from my job in Phoenix. Funny how something can be forgotten which was so meaningful and important. Now memories are flooding back.

May 14,2026,Thursday morning, 6:54am, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I moved my flight because work is busy. I will fly out Saturday, travel Sunday and take Monday off. That way I don’t have to miss as much and can support my team. have a little time this morning before I go to the dental hygienist so I am clearing out the bedroom. It feels so good to vacate that space. I realize I am overdue for change. This was a nice apartment and met my needs at the time but a fresh start is warranted. .

May 13,2026, Wednesday morning,6:48am, pacific standard time,apartment complex parking lot, Aliso Viejo, California,USA. I am in Aliso to pick up my daughter’s friend and take her home to Laguna Niguel. I had an epiphany while getting ready today. the viewpoint of mom coming out is not her living with me or having a long term ‘visit’ per se. rather, she is moving out here and can set up her life how she sees fit. We can move furniture, buy furniture, get rid of furniture. She doesn’t need to say good bye to me every morning or wait for me every night. She can build her own life and I can have mine. We just need to be to close for safety and life management purposes. Realizing that has reduced my stress considerably.

May 12,2026, Tuesday morning, 10:18am, pacific standard time, office in Costa Mesa, California,USA. I am much more focused now than I have been ever in my life. I am cognizant of being positive and staying present in the current moment. I woke up and didn’t blue lantern route this morning then went back to bed. We are going to Chapman care center to celebrate nurses week with their staff.

May 11,2026,Monday morning, 7:26am, pacific standard time, office in Costa Mesa, California, USA. Yesterday for Mother’s Day we went to Eureka! For lunch then saw the movie The Sheep Detectives. Both were actually pretty good. I was able to take the dog for a walk, drive around with my daughter and get to bed early. This is one of the rare times, really since I left being the chaplain, that work and how long I stay at a job are not the main concern. My focus in the near future is figuring out living conditions for my mom here in California.

May 10,2026,Sunday morning,8:48am, pacific standard time,apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Walked to Los Rios this morning along the bike path then came home to do laundry and get ready. We are going to lunch and a movie to celebrate Mother’s Day. I am focusing on positivity and thankfulness today.