I find it interesting my free time vacillates between mindlessly consuming content on my phone/television and writing things or creating.

I write a blog post then I quickly go read things and settle into the low brain function just reading or watching what others produced.

Thoughts if the future are like a pocket I crawl into to avoid stress. But many of the thoughts are so removed from the present they have no way of being obtained. Reeling in goals of the future while simultaneously increasing expectations of the present create more realigned objectives.

That sickening syrupy sludge that washed over me when I take my eye off my objective. Stay focused on achieving the goal.

I lost my mojo. My energy got sidetracked. I am falling into familiar unproductive habits. Swift is the fall when I lose my edge.

There are so many competing goals. Work anniversaries, being good at a job, more money, more flexibility. Of course the first three go together. Or the last three.

it is like lining up two screw holes. THey are right next to each other. You just want to move from one hole to the other. But just moving that half inch takes a lot of time and energy, mindset.
I know I was in sales and I kept cycling through sales jobs. Not because I was lazy or didn’t want to succeed but because my mind was wired to approach a job as a b student. Do enough to get by, maybe above average but I was never truly beholden to specific results. So when I was in positions of competition I subconsciously reverted to those behaviors. I thought I would throw myself into the deep end and develop the instincts. And I did. But it has taken me three years.

My behavior has shifted. Results matter. I can feel me becoming the new person I need to become to achieve and sustain results. Focus on truly acting to get the result. Truly, sincerely make all your actions towards achieving your result.

People follow leaders. They want to know where to go and when.

To put myself in a situation of competition. Where there is a binary choice of success or failure and win. I want to keep putting myself in bigger situations with higher stakes and come out on top.

I have to demand attention and hold it. Being nice and middle of the road makes me a toad