3:40pm, pacific standard time, office in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday afternoon, April 5, 2023. When it comes to work, I don’t know how to do self-care. Job security has not been a luxury afforded me for some time. Often my job status was tenuous. Therefore, I worked as hard as I could, for as long as I could before the inevitable parting of ways. Then, when I was no longer employed, I recharged my batteries in between jobs. As a result, I don’t know how to take vacations. Spending time with family, traveling, indulging in a hobby is not a skill set I possess. Now, I am eight months in to this job. I feel secure but, I am hesitant to let my guard down. I need to accept things are going well and I am allowed to make vacation plans. That way I can be happy, productive and stay with the company long term. That would be a win for everyone.

6:37pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Wednesday evening, April 5, 2023. I deduced this morning I need to take time off from work. I would even take getting sick with a cold. It isn’t that the job is bad, I just need to break up the routine. I need a mental health day. It doesn’t do any good to be cranky at work. People read my mood and it negatively affects them. Taking a day would not only be beneficial for me, but everyone else as well.

6:36pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Tuesday night, April 4, 2023. The days are getting monotonous. Five and a half months in and the Palm Desert routine has become tired. I wake up, workout, have coffee, work, grab dinner, watch television then go to bed. I don’t go out, I don’t look forward to time off and I don’t have any hobbies. I need to change things up or I am going to go crazy.

7:15pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Monday night, April 3, 2023. Slept in this morning then did the classic Dana Point walk. After that, I returned to my apartment, did two Monday morning calls, then left for Palm Desert. The sky was ominous the whole way but never rained. Ten miles out of town there u encountered dust storms. The wind is still blowing hard outside. I just finished dinner and am going to watch the college basketball championship before going to bed.

5:25pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Sunday evening, April 2, 2023. Went for a walk and workout this morning, grabbed breakfast for my daughter then went to the store. Now we are hanging out at the apartment, having a lazy Sunday. She is off school this coming week for spring break. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to take time off from work. We will get to hang out next weekend instead.

9:06pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA, Saturday night, April 1, 2023. Drove to Garden Grove this afternoon to see our daughter’s friend perform in a play. She did good but, the play was long. We got back to Aliso Viejo around six pm. After dinner I left Aliso Viejo and drove to Dana Point. Now I am getting ready for bed. Today is the 23rd anniversary of the day my daughter’s mom and I got married. A lot has changed in twenty three years.

4:57pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA, Friday afternoon, March 31, 2023. Came back to Orange County and checked my home mailbox. My renewed driver license/real Id was there. That made me happy for a number of reasons: 1. I have a valid license again 2. I got the Real ID taken care of so I can use it to fly in the future and 3. Personal mail arrived at the home address which saves me a trip to the post office to verify. Now I am sitting on the couch with the dog and contemplating a run to the store with my daughter.

6:13pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Thursday night, March 30, 2023. I left work early this afternoon but, I didn’t head to Orange County. I came back to the hotel instead. Watched a little television, took a nap and did some reading. Work got busy in the afternoon but, I didn’t mind. It was nice just being out of the office for a change. Now I am watching opening day baseball and eating dinner. I will head west tomorrow and spend the weekend with my daughter.

6:37pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Wednesday night, March 29, 2023. My daughter’s mom had her purse stolen last night. She ran inside a friend’s house to drop off a gift and inadvertently left the car unlocked. When she returned, the purse, with her wallet inside, was gone. She quickly cancelled her cards but the thieves managed to place an online order with her debit card. She is confident the money will be recouped but, that doesn’t make up for lost items or time. Nor does it address the upsetting consequences of her personal safety being violated. The world is a disappointing place sometimes. Her friend lives in a safe neighborhood. It was still light outside and she wasn’t gone long. Hard to believe such an unfortunate event could happen so quickly under those circumstances. A good reminder to always be vigilant. You never know when nefarious folk are around.

6:34pm, pacific standard time, hotel in Palm Desert, California, USA, Tuesday night, March 28, 2023. Thought about Arizona a lot today. Specifically, lamenting the loss of the drive east, my apartment, going for walks, working out, shopping at the local grocery store and watching movies on my couch. It had to end and I am better off in Orange County but, the finality of absolute loss causes me distress. Arizona is gone forever and I should let it go. Life is about moments in time. If you are lucky, you have a few good ones. Then, when all is said and done, you cherish what you had and grieve what you lost until the next moment comes around.