Why

The thing I was good at I left. Why? Did I outgrow it? Did I get bored. Was I heartbroken? Did I crave money adventure?

Was it because my dad died?

I had an affair. I fell in love with a woman other than my wife. When it ended nothing felt beautiful any more

I was preaching and got bored, lost my train of thought. A couple times through the lectionary and nothing felt exciting

I became a parent. 2008 money was tight. I was worried about losing my house. My wife lost her job

My ego. I was so sure I could get rich, amass titles and possessions. I got my mba and wanted to test myself. See what I could do

Intent

I look back on my life and wonder what I thought I was doing.

When I was 15.., that feels too honest. It doesn’t seem interesting or relevant. So now I am considering you, the reader in what honesty you can tolerate. What if I am honest but it is off putting or boring. I will lose my relationship with you before it begins and frankly I need you right now. I need to feel connected to you. That you are entertained, invested and informed by this effort.

So now I am juggling. Honesty must balance being useful to you, without too much hurting other people without sheltering my ego.

My first “real” job was working as a “religious consultant” for the state of wyoming. That was truly my job title. It was January 1999. One month before my 27th birthday.

I had graduated from seminary after completing my internship in august. I moved back to my hometown and was a chaplain extern at the wyoming state hospital. After four months I was hired full time.

I conducted the Protestant religious service at the chapel and provided bible study on the unit where patients were locked down.

Monday through Thursday I completed psychosocial background assessments for the psychiatrist and psychologist to complete reports on defendants accused of a crime. Invariably a public defender would ask a new client if they had ever been diagnosed, treated or evaluated for a mental illness. If the answer was yes they would ship them to the state hospital in the very southwest corner. The evaluation was designated for thirty days. In reality with transportation limitations it was 60 and sometimes even longer.

Keeping on…

Working full time and actually enjoying it. The dreams of thirtydayjobcleanse and The Unaffiliated before that have kind of moved to the back burner.

Mixed feelings about that. Like losing an old friend that had drifted away. The hope of accomplishment has waned but so has the frustration of failure. After three years of thirtydayjobcleanse it is probably good to step back for a moment

October update

854 followers. Started new job. Executive director. I feel that I have accomplished something with the thirty day job cleanse but there is more that could be done. I set up a support page that feels it could be strong but I am not sure it needs to be coupled to the book anymore. Will it ever grow to be its own thing? It hasn’t been a priority the last couple weeks but I still would like to nurture it and see if it can be more than just a small successful Facebook page of inspirational water, mountain, sky 🌌 pictures

Update

It has been a while. Have 840 followers. Have established an identity but haven’t clearly developed value proposition.

Kind of hit a wall like I have done what I wanted and feel guilty/stupid coercing it to drive revenue. I haven’t been a revenue driver in my life. I want to but I am afraid I am very solidified in selfish childish ways.

Patron

I set up a Patreon page for thirtydayjobcleanse. I feel like this is a model that I can embrace. Solicit support for a ministry rather than selling promises, services or goods.

From a technical standpoint I think I can replicate pretty much everything through send owl and WordPress. Once I get it more fleshed out have it built more secure. Some of there pricing is pretty steep (3% + 3% if use their store for merchandise)

I can feel passion and excitement. Haven’t felt those in a while

Confidence inspired

Last night I promoted a post even though I hadn’t really worked on the website for a couple days. I didn’t have anything to promote though I did anyway. I realize posting and promoting was an activity I just did because I do it.

The theme of the fb page is really confidence inspired. I have these incoherent multiple themes of the cleanse, the test, the plan and inspiration all rolling down different tracks. If I can pinpoint my energy to one of them it would be productive. For now that one is confidence and inspiration