December 17, 2023, Sunday night, 8:18pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I realize this is as good as it ever will get. I will never reach a point where everything is balanced. If I have a job or don’t I will long for the opposite. If I live in a certain place I will miss somewhere else. If I am with someone (romantic or otherwise) I will think about someone else. Longing for what was lost or has not yet been realized is part of the human condition. Today; Walk up Blue Lantern, workout at Planet Fitness this morning, later, mom and I went to Costco in Laguna Niguel. I got a haircut. In the afternoon we dropped my daughter and her friend off at Starbucks to study. This evening we all went to kohls for shopping and Rubios for dinner.

Decmeber 16, 2023, Saturday night, 10:11pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Flew in from Salt Lake City this morning then spent the evening decorating for Christmas. My daughter, her mom, and the dog joined mom and me at the Dana Point apartment. We got pizza from Truly pizza off Del Prado.

December 15, 2023, Friday night, 8:30pm, mountain standard time, Hyatt by the airport in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA. Came out to pick my mom up and fly back to Long Beach tomorrow. She was tired by the time I arrived so we decided to call it a night and connect in the morning. I forgot this hotel was the last place I saw the WIL over four years ago. So many different memories have happened since then. I probably wouldn’t have remembered until I glanced at the exercise room. The last time I used that gym was the morning after the night we said goodbye in October 2019. Funny how one simple thing can completely change the path of nostalgia.

December 14, 2023, Thursday night, 6:48pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Hesperia, California, USA. Drove to the Apple Valley branch this morning and spent the afternoon in the office. It was slow so I left early. I contemplated driving back to Dana Point but I already had a room reserved and I didn’t want to drive so far so I decided to stay the night here. I found out this morning Bakersfield and Visalia are again part of my territory. So much for saying good bye. Oh well, I don’t mind. I have gotten used to driving that way. Side note: the person in the room next to me just turned there tv on super loud. Maybe I should have went home!

December 12, 2023, Wednesday morning, 8:57am, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California, USA. I am savoring this moment because it is a fantasy come true. When I escape to my “happy place” as it were, I imagine being a PRN hospice chaplain in Phoenix. In my dream scenario, I travel to Arizona on Monday morning, arrive late afternoon, buy groceries and settle in for the week. I work Tuesday through Thursday and travel back to Orange County on Friday. On days I work I would have 2 or 3 patient visits with plenty of free time in between and be home at a decent hour. That is what I envision when I am stressed at my job. This morning I have that except for a couple tweaks. I am in Palm Desert rather than Phoenix. I have a quality presentation at 2:30 and an interview at 4. Neither of which are more stressful than a patient visit. I came here on Monday and am working three days then heading home. The point is I would feel the exact same way in my imaginary scenario as I do now. I truly know what it feels like to experience my dream come true.

December 12, 2023, Tuesday evening, 6:31pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California,USA. I went back and read old posts from this time two years ago when I was an Executive Director in Arizona. I remember October-December 2021 as being the happiest time of that year. I can’t stop thinking about the last line of that post. Turns out I was right except for it is two years later instead of one.

December 11, 2023, Monday night, 7:17pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California,USA. Drove to Aliso Viejo this morning, walked the dog, took my daughter to Dunkin’ then school, had back to back calls at 8:30 and 9. Got a workout in at Planet Fitness then came home to wash sheets for my mom and get on an 11am business development call. After that I finished getting ready, then had my last meeting at 1pm. As soon as it ended I got in the car and drove to Palm Desert. Traffic was bad so it took a while. Checked in to the hotel at 5pm, grabbed chipotle for dinner, watched a little Monday night football and now ready to turn in for the night.

December 10, 2023, Sunday night, 6:20pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Walk and workout this morning. I did something different. There is a new planet fitness in lake forest so I went there. That was a fun change. I tried to get the car smog tested but every place was closed. Took my daughter to get in and out for lunch then stopped by CVS for acetone so she could remove artificial nails. This afternoon I drove to Orange and met a new friend for soda and tea. We only talked for an hour but it was good. Then I went back to Aliso Viejo for dinner and came home. Now I am waiting for laundry to dry before turning in early.

December 9, 2023, Saturday night, 8:10pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Got the battery replaced in my personal car. Triple A came out and did it for $200. The bad news is replacing the battery resets the diagnostics. I have to drive 100 miles before I try and pass the smog inspection. This afternoon I drove out to Anaheim Hills. While there I decided to get the car washed but after I paid I realized the line was insanely long. I ended up sitting for an hour to get a low cost 5 minute basic rinse. That left me in a bad mood. At 4:30 I met up with my daughter and her mom to pick up her computer at Best Buy and then go get her friend for a sleepover. Now I am back home in Dana Point. I was supposed to go out tonight but I begged off. I just wasn’t in the mood to be at a crowded restaurant.

December 8, 2023, Friday night, 9:18pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. We went to dinner with my uncle, his spouse and her sister at the El Torito in Dana Point tonight. It was busy and the waiter struggled. It took an hour to get our food and then it was inadvertently prepared to go. We ended up eating out of takeout containers while seated at the restaurant. Afterwards we bought chocolate truffles at the Chocolate Soldier before heading to Aliso Viejo to take the family home.