October 12, 2023, Thursday night, 6:39pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California,USA. I feel less stressed about the survey coming up in the next couple months. After last week I got nervous. Now, I have a plan and am confident in my ability to see it through. And the new administrator was a good hire. Once she is through orientation she will be a strong ally. I hope it works out. I want to take the next step, career and skill wise. That will only happen if I am out of the day-to-day branch operations and more leading leaders.

October 11, 2023, Wednesday night, 7:29pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California, USA. The new Administrator in Palm Desert seems like a good fit. She should ramp up quickly and be able to run things before long. Similarly, the Bakersfield administrator is doing well. Both are eager to lead and not afraid of accountability. It is so refreshing after the mis-hire with the previous Palm Desert administrator. On another note, I talked with my supervisor today. She is taking thanksgiving week off so I will take Christmas week off. That works great. My mom will be visiting so not having to travel will be nice. I also arranged to be in Orange County for Halloween. Now I have two things to look forward to.

October 10, 2023, Tuesday evening, 6:55pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California,USA. My eating less at night plan lasted half a week. My intentions are good, I just don’t have the energy or patience to go grocery shopping after work. It is easier to order online and eat take out than it is to shop when I am tired. Of course when I eat out I over indulge. Then I don’t sleep well. Last night I woke up at eleven and didn’t fall asleep until 1am. I was able to workout and get a nap in this morning but it isn’t fun to be uncomfortable and grouchy. Today was busy at work. Lots of emails and phone calls. Not a day worth remembering.

October 9, 2023, Monday evening, 7:37pm, pacific standard time, hotel room, Palm Desert, California, USA. Got a new antibiotic today. The other one wasn’t working. The doctor I spoke with was surprised the NP from last week prescribed it. Hopefully things turn out better. This is the first time I feel properly diagnosed and treated. Work wise, the new director in Palm Desert started today. I can’t wait to get her through orientation. I want to go somewhere else now and then. Palm Desert and Bakersfield are nice, just not every week.

October 8, 2023, Sunday evening, 6:13pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Aliso Viejo, California, USA. My daughter had a Girl Scout function today. She was the acting president of a meeting earlier so I am curious how it went. Her mom went to pick her and a friend up so I am in Aliso Viejo with the dog. Today was a nice day. The third Sunday in a row where I wasn’t overly anxious. I could find perspective and appreciation in the present. Memories are beautiful because I can flit in and out of them whenever I choose. And while they carry emotional weight that doesn’t mean they are more valuable than now. In time this moment I am living now will become the past, just like Arizona and 50 years before that. Regardless of what I see from here until the end I know this time is rare must be appreciated for what it is.

October 7, 2023, Saturday night, 10:38pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. Woke up early this morning. Took a sitz bath then went for a walk. It was 5x points for drinks at Dunkin Donuts so my daughter and I went after she woke up. At noon I came back to Dana Point and took a nap. My daughter’s mom wanted to go out so I stayed in Aliso Viejo while she visited a friend. Now I am back in Dana Point. Wyoming beat Fresno State in football so it was a good Saturday. Hopefully tomorrow goes accordingly as well.

October 6, 2023, Friday night, 6/35pm, pacific standard time, apartment in Dana Point, California, USA. I woke up this morning at 3:30am. Went down to the hotel gym and worked out before getting gas and hitting the road at 7:30am. I made it to Dana Point just before 11am. After emails and phone calls I picked my daughter up from school, got her dinner, took the dog for a short walk then headed back home. It is early but I am going to turn in and read for a while. . I am still dealing with the infection and taking antibiotics. Sometimes it feels better, others times no change. hopefully it will clear up soon.

October 5, 2023, Thursday evening, 6:58pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Bakersfield, California, USA. Spent the whole day working on a quality report. It was exhausting. And I still have 3 more to do before the end of the year and five due before survey window closes in February. The mock survey in Palm Desert ended today. The to do list is daunting. I will start working it next week but I am not looking forward to it. Today, I mentally accepted that my last career accomplishments will center around hospice operations. Something that doesn’t sound bad right on a stress free Thursday night. Check with me at the beginning of next week, it could all change. The only constant in my thought process is inconsistency.

October 4, 2023, Wednesday evening, 6:06pm, pacific standard time, hotel room in Bakersfield, California, USA. Had down time at work today, which is rare. I am no longer the interim director in Bakersfield so I don’t do a lot of the day to day stuff. Not that I minded. It was nice to be bored. I am feeling a little tired tonight. Went to urgent care last night and found out I have an infection. I got antibiotics and started taking them right away. I feel better. Not sure if it is the medicine or wishful thinking. I will see how the week goes.

October 3, 2023, Tuesday morning, 6:35am, pacific standard time, hotel room in Palm Desert, California,USA. I am in the same situation I was a year and a half ago with my pervious job. The posts I write now sound similar to the ones I wrote in April of last year. Which makes for an interesting observation. My interaction with the role of hospice operations is a certain way no matter what job I have (this is my third, actually fourth). The same is true of being a chaplain, a sales manager or a sales person. Each of those periods in life held multiple positions and each was similar in experience. I realize going back to being a chaplain is rehashing a past already lived. If I don’t want to do operations any more that is fine but the path must be forward, not back. I don’t need to revisit questions that have already been answered.